


Tumblr Prompt Fill Collection

by iammemyself



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham (Video Games), Batman: Arkham - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, I am not trying to roll people in here for anything, M/M, Programmer Dad, Riddlecat, Scriddler, Tumblr Prompt, please be aware this is a prompt fill collection, there are a lot of tags up there for that reason, this collection is just for posterity/backup reasons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 00:52:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 4,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14533131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iammemyself/pseuds/iammemyself
Summary: A collection of various short fills for Tumblr prompts.





	1. "I Just Want to Help You Relax."

16\. “I just want to help you relax.”

Characters: Jim Gordon, Barbara Gordon, Edward Nygma (cameo)

 

[((Based out of my Arkham Origins AU))](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F14037582&t=OWJiYTQwNzMyMGFkNzQ4ZTEzNjY3ZThmOTk5Y2JkZWFlZjkwNGRlYixCVVhvMkYxWg%3D%3D&b=t%3AboM3_zWhzWMNXci6wwBUQQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcanadian-riddler.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F173568709244%2F16-if-you-want-please&m=1)

 

“I just want to help you relax.”

Jim chewed on the stem of his pipe and looked down the street.  Not much happening out there today.  “And doing that involved Eddie?”

“Yeah,” Barbara said, from where she was precariously seated on the railing of the front porch.  “He thought it was a great idea.”

Jim blew out a puff of smoke.  “Barb, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But you know how he is.  For all I know this ‘very nice boat’ he’s gotten was stolen from someplace.  I can’t go off in a stolen boat.”

“He said you’d say that,” Barbara said, not without a significant amount of triumph, “and he said to say he has all the rental papers if you really want to see them.”

“He doesn’t want me to see them, though.”

“No, because he wants it to be a surprise.  And he doesn’t want you to know what it cost, either, because THEN you’ll refuse to go because of THAT.”  She swung her legs a little.  “Any argument you have he can counter. I should know, I helped him do it.”

She really did bug Eddie as often as possible, didn’t she.  “And he didn’t want to come?”

“He did,” Barbara corrected, pulling down the hem of her hoodie, “but he thought it would be better if it was just you and me.”

He really did seem to have Jim’s best interest in mind, Jim mused.  And it HAD been a while since he’d taken a fishing trip, and never before with Barbara.  “All right.”

“No more questions?”

He tapped the remainder of the tobacco out of his pipe.  “No more questions.”

The worst part about all of it, Jim thought as he held open the front door for his daughter, was that there was no way he could ever come up with an equivalent for Edward.  He sighed to himself.  No doubt in that man’s mind that was a reward in and of itself.

“What?” Barbara asked.

“Nothing,” Jim said.  “If you want to make lunch for tomorrow, I’ll go and make sure the tackle is in order.”

“Sure,” Barbara said, and Jim figured maybe he shouldn’t have been trying so hard to find a loophole out of this trip.  It was a nice gesture, and he and Barb didn’t get to spend that much time together.

Still, though.  That man could get into a HEAP of trouble for the one day Jim would be out of reach of the GCPD.  The real treat would be Edward, behaving himself for a whole twelve hours without Jim’s supervision.

Well.  He could hope.

 


	2. "Say it Again."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Edward Nygma, Jonathan Crane [Scriddler]

Characters: Edward Nygma, Jonathan Crane [Scriddler]

 

Edward paced across the foyer of their building three times.  He had already done it a previous eight times and was probably going to do it another twenty times for good measure.  He couldn’t stop running his hands through his hair and he had given up on breathing normally several minutes ago.

Above all of that, he couldn’t seem to calm down.  And off to the side stood Jonathan, quite patient and calm in the face of this horrific crisis.

“All right,” he said, folding his arms tightly across his chest.  “Say it again.”

“I bought forty-five pumpkins while I was at the supermarket.”

Nope.  Hearing it a fourth time did not make it any better.  He threw up his arms.  “Why on EARTH did you buy FORTY-FIVE PUMPKINS!?”

“They were on sale.”

“They were on SALE because it is NOVEMBER, Jonathan, and they are all EXPIRED.  What are you going to do with forty-five EXPIRED pumpkins?”

Jonathan shrugged and put his hands into the pockets of his jeans.  “Honestly this alone was worth the investment.”

Edward thrust an indignant finger in his direction.  “What did I do to deserve such a thing?!”

Jonathan rubbed the end of his nose.  “Nothing.  It just amuses me.  And you haven’t even SEEN them yet.”

“You’re sleeping on the balcony tonight.”

“We’ll see about that,” Jonathan said, in a tone that did not settle Edward’s nerves any, and he stormed back out of the building before he did something he would REALLY regret.  Jonathan watched him go with nary a change in his demeanour.  He nodded to himself and looked over at the elevator.

When Edward eventually returned upstairs and saw that there were, in fact, ZERO pumpkins anywhere to be found, he would be set off all over again and that was MUCH funnier than if he’d actually BOUGHT them…


	3. "Don't Call Me Princess, Asshole."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

 

“Don’t call me ‘princess’, asshole.”

Jonathan frowned and stopped walking.

“Wait.  I’ve called you ‘little prince’ before, and you had no problem with that.”

“That’s because I don’t.”

“There was also that time I called you ‘you infuriating Canuck’ and, while you looked like you were about to slap me, ultimately you seemed not to care.”

“I did change my mind at the time, but if you call me that again I WILL slap you.”

“In fact, I cannot think of a single time you actually CARED about what I called you.  Why does this in particular bother you?”

Edward sighed and put his hands into his pockets.  “Jonathan, that’s what I call my DAUGHTER.”

“And?”

He turned around and held up his hands as though Jonathan were some sort of obtuse idiot.  “If she thinks I’M a princess TOO I will NEVER hear the end of it!”

Well.  Jonathan was not going to pretend he knew anything about the mystery that was fathers and daughters.  “But why did you call me an asshole?”

Edward shrugged.  “It slipped out.”  

“I hope you won’t be surprised if I… ACCIDENTALLY call you princess again, then.”  And he resumed walking, Edward taking a moment to follow him.

“Jonathan.  Don’t.  Don’t you DARE.”

“I’ll consider it.”

“Jonathan!”

 


	4. "Sit Down and Let Me Take Care of You."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Edward Nygma, Selina Kyle [lowkey Riddlecat]

Characters: Edward Nygma, Selina Kyle [lowkey Riddlecat]

 

 

“Sit down and let me take care of you.”

Any other time and she might have taken him up on that offer, but the somewhat menacing delivery and the fact he did happen to have a pistol in his hand was enough to tell her this was not that sort of situation.  “I think I’ll pass.  Unless, of course, you DO mean the fun kind…”

“You’ve already had your fun, kitty,” Edward said, and he had by now managed to block her escape from the window which she had entered by.  An amateur’s mistake on her part, but in her defence she had not thought this would be that big of a deal.  “Give it back.”

“You’re not REALLY willing to shoot me over something SILLY like this, are you?”

“If you keep it from me we are unfortunately going to have to see a demonstration of whether I am or not.”

She stepped backwards and glanced towards the front door of his apartment.  She MIGHT be able to make it, if she were lucky.  “Why do you want it so much, anyway?  I mean, if you had BOUGHT it I could see why you’d be so upset, but I just LEFT it here.”

He lowered the gun.  “Well it… I shouldn’t have to explain it!  Just give it back!”

Selina decided it wasn’t worth antagonising him for it and tossed the black plush cat, which she had been holding behind her, back across the room to him.  “Fine.  But I think I do deserve an explanation for why you’re willing to pull a gun on me for something I left here by mistake three weeks ago.  That’s a little extreme, isn’t it, Eddie?”

He had thrown the gun on the bed in order to catch the stuffed animal and was now looking at it with an oddly sober expression.  “It… reminds me of you.  That’s all.”

Aw.  Sometimes he proved he really did have a heart after all.  “All right, Eddie.  You can keep it.  And I won’t even tell anyone about this.”

“Would it kill you to have used the front door for once?” he demanded with a little more bluster than was necessary.  She shrugged and moved towards it.  

“Knowing you, it could have.”

She had her hand on the doorhandle and had not quite turned it before he said, “Lina.”

She looked over her shoulder.  He was still looking at the cat.

“It wasn’t loaded.”

She just might use the door next time.


	5. "You're Not Alone.  You Never Were."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

 

  


“You’re not alone.  You never were.”

Edward sighed and tapped the ash off the edge of his cigarette.  He’d been sitting out there on the balcony in silence for much too long.  “That’s simple for you to say, Mr ‘I Don’t Need No One and Never Will’.”

Jonathan was standing against the railing and looking down at the busy street below.  “For a man as clever as you, it seems quite odd that you stubbornly continue to pretend you’re the only one anything terrible has ever happened to.”

“I’m quite aware that - “

“Yes, but you don’t DO anything about it,” Jonathan interrupted.  “You ceaselessly act as though there is nowhere for you to turn.  That there is no one on this earth committed to helping persons who have been through what you have.  There are.  There are a LOT of them.  You are too old to hang onto a mindset you settled into before you had to start shaving.  I know better than to tell you to get over it, but good LORD I wish you would give it a try.”

“I don’t want to see a therapist.”

“And I don’t want to see you moping over something you refuse to do anything about, but here we are.”

He could hear the click of the lighter behind him.  “It’s hard, Jon.”

“It gets easier if you actually give it a try.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jonathan supposed he was going to have to put his foot down.  He turned around.

“If you think that, you’re a fool.”

Edward’s free hand clenched into a fist.  “Excuse me?”

“I DID have to do it alone, Edward.  You seem to forget that with incredible ease.  Did some terrible things happen to you?  Yes.  But in the best location possible.  You had resources.  You had places to go.  Options.  Even people to talk to and to help you.  And even now, free from your childhood shackles and fears, you still now refuse to so much as LOOK for any of those things.  It is, quite frankly, insulting.  Am I over my history?  Yes.  Because it was NECESSARY for me to be.  Think about why you are still free to complain about something you could have begun to fix DECADES ago and THEN tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Edward fell into silent contemplation of his cigarette.

“It is frustrating,” Jonathan said, more softly, “that you allow yourself to be the one puzzle for which you find no solution.  Because there are several.  It almost seems as though you do not WANT any of it to be solved.”

“I don’t,” Edward said to his feet.  “It’s easier than having to find out now, all these years later, who I’d be without it.”

“Isn’t it time you found out?”

“It’s time to go inside.”  He pressed the cigarette into the ashtray.  “The game starts in ten minutes.”

It seemed Jonathan was going to have to wait and see if his words had had any effect, then.  They had better have.  He was getting too old for this.

As they walked through the sliding door Edward put an arm behind Jonathan’s shoulders and said, not looking at him, “But you’re right.”

Jonathan looked to him for the followup, of which there was none.  But this was more than he’d given before at any of their previous discussions.  Maybe this would be the time he did something.


	6. "It's Okay.  I'm Here."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Edward Nygma, Alan Turing (Riddlerbot OC)

Characters: Edward Nygma, Alan Turing (Riddlerbot OC)

 

 

_It’s okay, I’m here._

What about that made it _okay_ , Edward wondered.  In his mind it couldn’t be farther from _okay_!  His trembling hand was pressed mostly ineffectually to his thigh.  There seemed to be blood everywhere.  The only saving grace was that Edward had managed to dispatch the miscreant who had shot him before something even WORSE had happened.

And then Alan had showed up.  Which, honestly, was not _okay_ at all.  Edward was not quite up on his paternal literature, but he was fairly certain children were not supposed to reassure their parents after they’d been wounded as a result of criminal activity.

_What happened_?

“Oh, it’s not that bad,” Edward said through clenched teeth.  “It can’t have gone far.”  At least, he hoped it hadn’t.  

_I’ll get it.  Don’t worry._

Edward’s hands were shaking so much he barely managed to get his pants off so that Alan could look at it, and his son’s cursory inspection had an odd curious detachment that actually helped calm him down somewhat.  And Alan indeed got it with an impressive speed and efficiency, though Edward had to return his attention to the matter at hand when he got a little too interested in looking at the bullet he’d prized out of Edward’s leg.  He gave Alan his undershirt to tear up so that he could put his pants back on for the trip back to the Orphanage and Alan had the wound blocked up quite well for someone who had never done it before.  He stood up with only a little help.

_It’s a good thing I was here, wasn’t it, Dad?_

Edward did his best to keep his sigh to himself.  Good?  Absolutely.  Okay?  … not at all.

“I can’t imagine what I would have done without you, son.”


	7. "It's Time to Think Outside of the Box."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

 

“Jonathan,” Edward announced grandly, walking through the front door of Jonathan’s formerly very quiet apartment and seemingly filling the entire space with his mere presence, “it’s time to think outside of the box.”

Jonathan rolled his eyes and resolved to ignore him.

“Wouldn’t it be a grand idea if _I_ pretended to be _you_ and _you_ pretended to be _me_?  Wouldn’t that be _hilarious?”  
_

“I’m unsure I see the humour in such a thing.”

Edward planted his hands on the back of Jonathan’s chair and leaned around his shoulder.  “No, listen!  You take credit for one of _my_ schemes and I do the same for one of yours!  Better yet, we actually switch!  I become you and you become me!  It will be a delight, I assure you.”

“I believe we each have a very different definition of that word.”

Edward whirled around to sit on the table in front of Jonathan, sweeping papers out of his way as he went.  “Why don’t we try it and you pass your judgement afterward?”

Jonathan could just see the sweep of police lights, the reflection in Edward’s glasses indicating some action through the window behind Jonathan he really wanted no part in.  He grimaced.

“You came up with this because the GCPD are on their way here now, looking for you, didn’t you.”

“ _Nooooooo_ ,” Edward said, waving his hand in front of his face with such manufactured nonchalance it put all his previous performances to shame.  “I have your best interests at heart of course!  If you really think about it, pretending to be me only _benefits_ you!  If people believe you’re as intelligent as I am - an erroneous assumption, of course - then they will be lining up around the block to get in on your schemes!  Imagine how many willing participants - “

“The same number as usual, then.  Zero.”

“Consider it?”

Jonathan pointed his pencil in the direction of the door.  “Goodbye.”

“But - “

“You’re number one on my current list of _willing participants_.”

“Fine!  But if I end up in prison do _not_ come to see me.  I would rather use American spelling then ever set eyes on you ever again.”

“A tragedy.”

He righted himself with an impressive amount of indignity and flounced out the door, which he slammed hard enough to knock a great deal of the things he’d so graciously left on Jonathan’s table to fall over.  He sighed and wondered if it were worth the effort to pick them up.

The door opened again and lo and behold the marginal space there contained Edward’s head, which asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to - “

He had to duck out of the doorway to avoid the pencil Jonathan threw at his head, which embedded itself in the wall and silenced any further discussion.  Once Edward had gone it was finally quiet again, but he did have to wonder exactly what Edward had been _doing_ all night.  Jonathan _had_ left that riddle at the scene of his chemical theft that afternoon, but really, Edward should have been able to talk his way out of _that_..

He shrugged.  Oh well.  He’d send a fruit basket or something to make up for it.  Since Edward didn’t want to see him and all.


	8. 'kissing so desperately that their whole body curves into the other person’s'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

 

Sometimes, when Jonathan had not seen him in a while, he lost his decorum and pulled Edward against him a little harder than was wise. When he did not even realize what he was about to do but found himself wishing he could join the two of them together so that he could be ever closer to this man who had singlehandedly upended his life. And he had done so right now, again, because Edward had gone awol for six months as he was wont to do, and when he finally let go Edward was smiling that stupid smile of his that drove life into Jonathan’s stone chest and said, “Looks like someone missed me.”

Jonathan shoved as his shoulder roughly to get him farther away and turned around. “Perhaps I was imagining you were someone else.”

“Now Jonathan,” Edward chided from behind him, “you know there is simply no one who can surpass me.”

Jonathan dearly wished he had some words to refute this but, god damn him, he could not have been more right.


	9. 'lazy morning kisses before they’ve even opened their eyes, still mumbling half-incoherently, not wanting to wake up'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

 

The early hours of the morning were good for a lot of things, but Jonathan had long since decided watching Edward sleep was the best use of his time.

He would remain still if Jonathan caressed his hair, and he did that often because it was so rare to see that kind of peace out of him. Edward would always have a moment an hour or so before he truly awoke where he would open his eyes a little, and Jonathan liked to be there to kiss him softly. He always tried to kiss Jonathan back but he was always too asleep to do so. It reminded Jonathan he still had the capacity to bring peace himself.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispered on this morning, brushing Edward’s lips with his own, and once Edward had turned his head aside Jonathan regretfully got up.


	10. 'kisses meant to distract the other person from whatever they were intently doing'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

 

He always did these things at the most inconvenient of times.

“Jonathan,” Edward said finally, even though having the man behind him carefully kissing his neck was a very pleasant thing he was not against whatsoever, “I’m going to need you to stop doing that.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Jonathan said.

“It’s very distracting.”

When that didn’t have any effect whatsoever, Edward decided he was going to have to go a little farther. “I have a confession to make.”

“And what would that be?”

“I don’t actually know how to ride a horse,” Edward said, doing his best to direct said steed in a somewhat organized direction. “I just said that because I didn’t want to get stuck behind you on one for the umpteenth time.”

“Hm,” was all Jonathan said to that, and he didn’t stop what he was doing for a moment.

It took Edward another two minutes to get it, and when he did he sighed, mostly at himself. “You already knew, didn’t you.”

“I know nothing,” was Jonathan’s response, and Edward resolved to keep from repeating this mistake. Maybe. He WAS doing pretty well, considering.


	11. 'a gentle “i love you” whispered after a soft kiss, followed immediately by a stronger kiss'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

 

“This is probably a bad time,” Jonathan said once they were face-to-face, “but I have something to tell you.”

Before Edward could clarify that it was, indeed, a terrible time, Jonathan kissed him with that reverence that never failed to surprise him and whispered, so that Edward was barely able to hear, “I love you.”

Edward pulled his head down without thinking and pressed his lips against Jonathan’s with a little too much force, and it didn’t end until the both of them were out of breath. Edward put his hands on Jonathan’s shoulders.

“You’re right. This is a TERRIBLE time. Now get off of me. As fun as having you on top of me is, we need to get out of here before someone realises Joker blew a hole in the rec room wall.”

“I may hold you to that thought,” Jonathan said, and as the two of them scrambled through the rubble in the hopes of being some of the lucky few Edward dearly hoped that he would.


	12. 'routine kisses where the other person presents their cheek/forehead for the hello/goodbye kiss without even looking up from what they’re doing'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

 

Why did he never look up?

Every afternoon Edward left for lunch at his favourite little spot and every afternoon he kissed Jonathan goodbye at the edge of his brow. He would do Edward the gracious favour of tilting his head upwards a fraction, but that was all. Not so much as a ‘see you later’ or a ‘have a lovely afternoon, Edward, I will dearly miss your company’. The man just did not have any MANNERS.

“One day I’m going to stop doing that,” Edward declared with one emphasizing finger as he pulled on his jacket, “and one day you’re going to be sorry you ignored me so many times.”

Jonathan, of course, did not dignify that with an answer, and Edward was left to angrily stuff his feet into his shoes in silence. Before he had quite located the relevant key on the rack Jonathan called, “So I suppose I should discontinue kissing you on the forehead when I wake up in the morning.”

Edward’s hand froze on the doorknob. “Why would you do that?”

Jonathan’s shrug was almost nonexistent. “Oh, I don’t know. You DO ignore it and go back to sleep. Perhaps you just don’t care for it that much.”

“Well I - of course I do,” Edward spluttered. Jonathan nodded to his book and said nothing more, and Edward was forced to consider that all the way down the elevator to the parking lot.

Well. He’d let Jonathan off THIS time, but TOMORROW… tomorrow maybe Edward would look up.


	13. 'Ignore'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Edward Nygma

Characters: Edward Nygma

 

It’s both the easiest and the hardest thing for him to do.

The easiest, because the people who drive him to ignore them are usually of little consequence.  The hardest, because it is usually reflected back on himself.  He’s had enough of that his whole life.  He’s had enough of being passed over, disregarded, disdained.  But what else can he do, when the only attention he is given is not that which he deserves?  What choice else is there?

To ignore them is the only way he has any power, and yet gives him no power at all.

Eternal impasse.


	14. "Don't Touch Me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

 

“Don’t touch me.”

Jonathan had only put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.  He’d been staring very intently at his computer screen and sometimes he didn’t hear Jonathan talk when he was doing that.  He removed his hand, his brow creasing in confusion.  Were they fighting?  Jonathan didn’t always notice, but he would THINK he would before it got to something like THIS…

“Why not?”

“I have decided,” Edward said, in a grand tone that already had Jonathan rolling his eyes, “that you are only allowed to touch me for a certain amount of time per day.  My body is a valuable resource, you see, and I don’t want you to start taking it for granted.  You’ve already used up your time.  So go away.”

Oh, Jonathan was going to touch him, all right.  He was going to strangle - no.  No, Edward’s health was much too good to enable him to do that.  Well, the only other option was to do the aforementioned going away, but for quite a lot longer than Edward was anticipating.  He walked to the foyer and slid his feet into his loafers.

“Where are you going?”

 _Wouldn’t you like to know_ , Jonathan thought wryly.  He wouldn’t have told even if he knew.  He collected his keys and opened the front door.

“Jonathan!  I was _joking!”  
_

Oh, he’d been _joking_.  Well.  He was already leaving.  Might as well keep doing that.  

“Oh my God, Jonathan.”

He had to smile to himself.  Edward really should know better by now.


End file.
